Oh Holly, thank you infinitely for sharing these sacred memories of your siblings with us. I read through tear soaked eyes, wiping into my tshirt sleeve and sniffling the whole way through. I’ll hold a little of that grief with you, if I may. Love to you each day as you remember them.
I am writing this as tears run down my face. I have been profoundly moved by these precious memories. I get to see my sister tomorrow- haven’t seen her since last summer- I know I am gonna hug her a little longer and sit in the sweetness that come from being with my first friend
Thank you, Desiree. That's everything I could ask for: people to hold their loved ones a little longer. Sending you so much sweetness as you get to reconnect in the flesh with your sister. 💙
“And you learn the dark isn’t the scariest thing, it’s losing the people who are a part of you, the people who hold your stories, who are your story. “
Before and after… sibling loss - we invisible grievers…
💞 Thank you for sharing your journey, Holly. I am also a bereaved sibling. I’ve called myself a ‘world class’ griever. My Shari (who was my person), 5 years younger than me, died suddenly-not so suddenly in March 27, 2006 at age 47. I say suddenly-and not because she died of sustained deep grief (AKA liver failure) for 8 years after her 12 year old son was hit by a car and killed.
Middle Sister and I did everything we could after her son was killed to help during those 8 years.
We were each other’s best friends —Three sisters.
I’ve done mountains of grief work, in groups, individual therapy, bibliotherapy, whatever worked. She was the 2nd in a cluster of family deaths, and I ended up very ill.
I learned that grief is forever. I had to make the fullness of the love, joy, pain and loss part of me. Each year on her death day and birth day are still wretched. I think of her, miss her and love her every day.
Oh Donna, I feel every word you've written. I wish your Shari was still here. I wish my Ivy and my Brett were still here. What a loss. Grief IS forever, as it should be. Thank you for coming alongside me and sharing a piece of you and Shari.
“Do you see that tree? It is dead but it still sways in the wind with the others. I think it would be like that with me. That if I died I would still be part of life in one way or another.”
So deeply touched Holly. I lost two of my siblings in the last three years. It is a loss that words cannot possess, yet here with your words, I feel how deep your love is, and sibling love can be. These words soothe my own aching heart for my siblings too. This kind of love that is in the bones. Big love brave one.
Holly, I don’t think I took a single breath reading this piece, honoring your siblings and bringing them closer to us…bringing us with you into this underworld terrain…letting us feel into the always of this for you and the preciousness of them both and all of you together. Tears falling for you and with you dear friend…thank you for the honor of witnessing…
your writing gives me god bumps / goosebumps ~ a sense of your experiences allude to perhaps what my daughter has hidden in herself. we don’t live close by each other, but we have walked through her brother’s and her sister’s deaths. perhaps some day we will be in person and can broach this… there is the missing tangibility of touch, smell, hearing giggles, and feeling their presence in this physical realm. i honor you honoring your beloveds.
I lost my younger brother 2 years ago. I struggled with our relationship for decades, always feeling the need to write about it, work through the pain, etc.
On his death bed we healed our relationship, and forgave each other. It changed my life.
I am intent on writing about him, about he and I, about all of the things we shared, and lost.
Thank you Holly. Beautiful, sorrowful, and true. I lost my sister 5.5 years ago when she was 26 and so much of what you wrote resonated so deeply on a soul level. Thanks for sharing your heart
Oh Holly, thank you infinitely for sharing these sacred memories of your siblings with us. I read through tear soaked eyes, wiping into my tshirt sleeve and sniffling the whole way through. I’ll hold a little of that grief with you, if I may. Love to you each day as you remember them.
This is so kind, Windy. Thank you, thank you. From the depths of my tender little heart.
What beautiful words Holly. The way these deaths have shaped you, and in turn us - those in your world. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you, Fiona. This piece really touches me: "and in turn us." Thank you. 🩵
Thank you for sharing Brett and Ivy with us. Sending you care on this very tender day. 🤍
Thank you, Atoosa. I so appreciate your kind words and care. 🩵
I am writing this as tears run down my face. I have been profoundly moved by these precious memories. I get to see my sister tomorrow- haven’t seen her since last summer- I know I am gonna hug her a little longer and sit in the sweetness that come from being with my first friend
Thank you, Desiree. That's everything I could ask for: people to hold their loved ones a little longer. Sending you so much sweetness as you get to reconnect in the flesh with your sister. 💙
“And you learn the dark isn’t the scariest thing, it’s losing the people who are a part of you, the people who hold your stories, who are your story. “
Before and after… sibling loss - we invisible grievers…
💞 Thank you for sharing your journey, Holly. I am also a bereaved sibling. I’ve called myself a ‘world class’ griever. My Shari (who was my person), 5 years younger than me, died suddenly-not so suddenly in March 27, 2006 at age 47. I say suddenly-and not because she died of sustained deep grief (AKA liver failure) for 8 years after her 12 year old son was hit by a car and killed.
Middle Sister and I did everything we could after her son was killed to help during those 8 years.
We were each other’s best friends —Three sisters.
I’ve done mountains of grief work, in groups, individual therapy, bibliotherapy, whatever worked. She was the 2nd in a cluster of family deaths, and I ended up very ill.
I learned that grief is forever. I had to make the fullness of the love, joy, pain and loss part of me. Each year on her death day and birth day are still wretched. I think of her, miss her and love her every day.
I know that my grief is love persisting.
Oh Donna, I feel every word you've written. I wish your Shari was still here. I wish my Ivy and my Brett were still here. What a loss. Grief IS forever, as it should be. Thank you for coming alongside me and sharing a piece of you and Shari.
“Do you see that tree? It is dead but it still sways in the wind with the others. I think it would be like that with me. That if I died I would still be part of life in one way or another.”
{ Anton Chekhov, The Three Sisters }
So deeply touched Holly. I lost two of my siblings in the last three years. It is a loss that words cannot possess, yet here with your words, I feel how deep your love is, and sibling love can be. These words soothe my own aching heart for my siblings too. This kind of love that is in the bones. Big love brave one.
Kauakea, I am so sorry for. your losses. Words cannot describe this, only we know. Big love to you too, brave one.
Holly, I don’t think I took a single breath reading this piece, honoring your siblings and bringing them closer to us…bringing us with you into this underworld terrain…letting us feel into the always of this for you and the preciousness of them both and all of you together. Tears falling for you and with you dear friend…thank you for the honor of witnessing…
Mmmmm, thank you dear Jane. The always of this is right. Thank you for honoring and witnessing. 💙
dear Holly,
your writing gives me god bumps / goosebumps ~ a sense of your experiences allude to perhaps what my daughter has hidden in herself. we don’t live close by each other, but we have walked through her brother’s and her sister’s deaths. perhaps some day we will be in person and can broach this… there is the missing tangibility of touch, smell, hearing giggles, and feeling their presence in this physical realm. i honor you honoring your beloveds.
peace to you
💜
Thank you for this, Holly.
I am deeply sorry for your losses.
I lost my younger brother 2 years ago. I struggled with our relationship for decades, always feeling the need to write about it, work through the pain, etc.
On his death bed we healed our relationship, and forgave each other. It changed my life.
I am intent on writing about him, about he and I, about all of the things we shared, and lost.
I know I’m in the right place. And so are you.
♥️
Thank you Holly. Beautiful, sorrowful, and true. I lost my sister 5.5 years ago when she was 26 and so much of what you wrote resonated so deeply on a soul level. Thanks for sharing your heart
Thank you for sharing this, Holly. I've really enjoyed reading Ivy's poems which you shared with me. Sending love from afar.