Thank you for naming this so clearly, mindfully and kindly.
Experiencing both sides of your experience has taught me much and I am glad you have the community and support that you do. I cannot think of a more important work than this at this time.
Tēnā koe mō tō whakaaro pai me tō mahi nui i tēnei mahi
Wise thoughts and feelings , as people do lash out when stressed and fearful. This divisive turning on each other is being deliberately manipulated, so we don’t turn on those who are causing the most problems…those in power.
It is very hurtful to experience this Holly , so sending you many kind and and healing wishes ❤️🩹
This is such a relevant question, especially on social media. Can we actually communal care there? I’m truly sorry to hear you went through that. I really appreciate your voice and Rachael Rice’s voice in this space.
I love Rachael, her work is so necessary in these times. Great inquiry. I don't know if we can communal care there but I do know we (you and I and liberation-centered folk) can endeavor not to cause more harm there.
Thank you, Dean, for all the work you're doing. For continuing to show up in the Long Dark with your passion and fierce care. We definitely need more practice spaces for this kind of rupture and repair work.
Holly, your wisdom is refreshing. I think choosing learning and embodying your ideas are a neccessary requirements for building a new human (society.) I vision building community based on foundational principles, and am currently seeking relationship with people who are feeling likewise motivated and committed. The changes we seek will not be imposed from the outside. My simple mind can conceive of a grassroots formation of a new Union based on care and justice. and the willingness to challenge and transform.... sounds like you are already in community. would love to know more about you, your work, your community....
Holly thank you so much. It’s so weird to hear that someone who speaks from the heart filled with such soul can be treated with such irreverence. For someone who is so welcoming to all shapes and sizes, all forms of feelings and emotions and holds them
With such love and generosity. Your brilliance and courage is infectious. As I read this experience of yours I know I can also continue on, even when others who are projecting their suffering on me. Fuck yes, I’ll continue to strive for continued curiosity, love, fierceness, justice and freedom for all of us. 💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability here. I’ve specifically never wanted to become a well-known writer for this reason—it’s just exhausting when this happens from folks online / larger public after this kind of work comes up again and again in interpersonal relationships. i’ve thought a lot about needed skills to work through harm and conflict as i’ve seen ruptures in a few of my personal relationships. i’m not sure what to do when i am open to naming my harm but others are so conflict-avoidant. i will share i’m only at this place based on similar work you’ve done. i’m wondering how much care can even be sustained online or if it’s not possible on larger platforms where “strangers” hide behind anonymity. it all comes back to the culture perpetuating these kinds of blame.
It’s very refreshing to read this Holly thank you! I’m glad I found you here on substack. I deeply appreciate your articulate way of speaking truth with courage. I’m currently reckoning with my own new understanding, and revealing of sorts, that so many people do not want real authentic communal relationships. It is a deep grief and has made me retract from this innate desire and way of living. I hope it is possible somewhere, sometime. I will keep following what you are able to learn and develop in your spaces.
https://youtu.be/QzoSIAu_NUk (~ 1:01:00, is our sacred earth mother forgiving?) to Steven A. Darden (Diné/Navajo and Cheyenne) (an artist, human rights advocate, business owner, and traditional practitioner).
The thread he weaves takes us through a story of grief, the first death, how we are reflecting the scars we inflict upon mother earth in ourselves .. and around 1:06:00 he shares, "what you want in your journey of life is to look more like Mother Earth, not with all the scars, but with all that she represents; that is beautiful. But sadly, we may be at point on the path where she might not be able to forgive us any longer." He then talks about his transformation experience, asking for forgiveness from the mountain. How he was "re-educated". His invitation is to return to making offerings.
I was listening to this after reading your post, and feeling into this thread of awareness. This ask that's greater than an interpersonal mending between people, but to ask for forgiveness to what holds us all together in this closed system/habitat of interdependence. Learning how to act through offerings, giving our words, our prayers, whatever we have to give (sacred and mundane). To give with no expectation of receiving anything in return, giving until we're empty, giving until we're open. Taking responsibility for how I place myself in the world and for what I offer.
It's hard to reconcile the truth that my sense of, and belief in, lack is what results in harm. What I lack, I reflexively want someone/something else to provide. If it happens relationally, they harm me when I don't get filled, and I harm them by my imposition/expectation. There is something phenomenal available when I'm in wholeness/oneness and meet another in that place. I'm leaning into this thread: maybe we return to the oldest skill of communal and cultural care - making offerings.
I'll be sitting with this for a bit, just sharing a meander here :)
This conversation itself - witnessing your process of this event is such a beautiful demonstration of what our souls are aching for but generally can’t see due to what you name the ‘overculture’. Thank you for the incredible distillation of the ‘growing up and into’ we all need. ❤️
Love this post a lot Holly, thank you. The work of coalition building while doing the care work and tending for our elder people often for me feels at odds. I breathe and work to bring the tenderness I can offer my mom to my coalition peeps, and I fail often enough at both. Skill up indeed. Will be sharing this post, so much in here resonates for me and I know it will for others. I was once called out on social media by a very well-known writer and woo-howdy, did that shame spiral swirl inside me, such a learning experience. I hope that writer also has learned that shaming others is the exact opposite of creating belonging.
Holly, thank you for sharing your pain, vulnerability and especially your call to all of us to engage and connect with everyone, including those who cause (even unknowlingly) harm to each other. I find great inspiration and hope in your sharing as well as support to attempt to do the same.
I'm adding my voice to the chorus of gratitude for your exquisite essay, Holly. It's doing so much work: identifying the gaps in our collective skill set, naming values that can carry us forward in the Great Dark, and modeling the beneficial impact of practicing vulnerability. I am inspired, not only by your sharing and analysis, but also by how it's called forth so much wisdom and resources from your readers. I offer you a deep bow of gratitude.
Thank you for naming this so clearly, mindfully and kindly.
Experiencing both sides of your experience has taught me much and I am glad you have the community and support that you do. I cannot think of a more important work than this at this time.
Tēnā koe mō tō whakaaro pai me tō mahi nui i tēnei mahi
Thank you for reading this and your kind words. I so agree regarding the importance of this work. 🩵
Wise thoughts and feelings , as people do lash out when stressed and fearful. This divisive turning on each other is being deliberately manipulated, so we don’t turn on those who are causing the most problems…those in power.
It is very hurtful to experience this Holly , so sending you many kind and and healing wishes ❤️🩹
This is such a relevant question, especially on social media. Can we actually communal care there? I’m truly sorry to hear you went through that. I really appreciate your voice and Rachael Rice’s voice in this space.
I love Rachael, her work is so necessary in these times. Great inquiry. I don't know if we can communal care there but I do know we (you and I and liberation-centered folk) can endeavor not to cause more harm there.
Loving strong articulation. Thank you. I’ve surfed a few of these waves in the past couple of years… a a sizable one in the past few weeks.
I’m wishing for a curation space where folks could find suggested group and solo practices that have been found to help.
The Long Dark seems to be conducive for the emergence of individual and collective shadow to bubble up.
I’m happy to join you in exploring this territory of soul, relationship and repair.
Thank you.
Thank you, Dean, for all the work you're doing. For continuing to show up in the Long Dark with your passion and fierce care. We definitely need more practice spaces for this kind of rupture and repair work.
Any chance you’d like to have some conversation about this? Possibly a simple call… or maybe a podcast conversation?
This is beautiful. The Foundation for the Living Earth. A willingness to choose the work,discover, embody a new way.
Yes, embody our words, embody connection, embody something new. Thank you.
Holly, your wisdom is refreshing. I think choosing learning and embodying your ideas are a neccessary requirements for building a new human (society.) I vision building community based on foundational principles, and am currently seeking relationship with people who are feeling likewise motivated and committed. The changes we seek will not be imposed from the outside. My simple mind can conceive of a grassroots formation of a new Union based on care and justice. and the willingness to challenge and transform.... sounds like you are already in community. would love to know more about you, your work, your community....
Holly thank you so much. It’s so weird to hear that someone who speaks from the heart filled with such soul can be treated with such irreverence. For someone who is so welcoming to all shapes and sizes, all forms of feelings and emotions and holds them
With such love and generosity. Your brilliance and courage is infectious. As I read this experience of yours I know I can also continue on, even when others who are projecting their suffering on me. Fuck yes, I’ll continue to strive for continued curiosity, love, fierceness, justice and freedom for all of us. 💔❤️💔❤️💔❤️🙏🏽
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability here. I’ve specifically never wanted to become a well-known writer for this reason—it’s just exhausting when this happens from folks online / larger public after this kind of work comes up again and again in interpersonal relationships. i’ve thought a lot about needed skills to work through harm and conflict as i’ve seen ruptures in a few of my personal relationships. i’m not sure what to do when i am open to naming my harm but others are so conflict-avoidant. i will share i’m only at this place based on similar work you’ve done. i’m wondering how much care can even be sustained online or if it’s not possible on larger platforms where “strangers” hide behind anonymity. it all comes back to the culture perpetuating these kinds of blame.
By the way, I say all this to name my own fears and limitations! Not to share any prescriptive advice / ways of being.
Any chance we could connect in conversation about this stuff? Either a simple call or possibly a podcast conversation?
It’s very refreshing to read this Holly thank you! I’m glad I found you here on substack. I deeply appreciate your articulate way of speaking truth with courage. I’m currently reckoning with my own new understanding, and revealing of sorts, that so many people do not want real authentic communal relationships. It is a deep grief and has made me retract from this innate desire and way of living. I hope it is possible somewhere, sometime. I will keep following what you are able to learn and develop in your spaces.
https://youtu.be/QzoSIAu_NUk (~ 1:01:00, is our sacred earth mother forgiving?) to Steven A. Darden (Diné/Navajo and Cheyenne) (an artist, human rights advocate, business owner, and traditional practitioner).
The thread he weaves takes us through a story of grief, the first death, how we are reflecting the scars we inflict upon mother earth in ourselves .. and around 1:06:00 he shares, "what you want in your journey of life is to look more like Mother Earth, not with all the scars, but with all that she represents; that is beautiful. But sadly, we may be at point on the path where she might not be able to forgive us any longer." He then talks about his transformation experience, asking for forgiveness from the mountain. How he was "re-educated". His invitation is to return to making offerings.
I was listening to this after reading your post, and feeling into this thread of awareness. This ask that's greater than an interpersonal mending between people, but to ask for forgiveness to what holds us all together in this closed system/habitat of interdependence. Learning how to act through offerings, giving our words, our prayers, whatever we have to give (sacred and mundane). To give with no expectation of receiving anything in return, giving until we're empty, giving until we're open. Taking responsibility for how I place myself in the world and for what I offer.
It's hard to reconcile the truth that my sense of, and belief in, lack is what results in harm. What I lack, I reflexively want someone/something else to provide. If it happens relationally, they harm me when I don't get filled, and I harm them by my imposition/expectation. There is something phenomenal available when I'm in wholeness/oneness and meet another in that place. I'm leaning into this thread: maybe we return to the oldest skill of communal and cultural care - making offerings.
I'll be sitting with this for a bit, just sharing a meander here :)
Thank you for this work, this offering and these words. Much to reflect on and so much potency here.
This conversation itself - witnessing your process of this event is such a beautiful demonstration of what our souls are aching for but generally can’t see due to what you name the ‘overculture’. Thank you for the incredible distillation of the ‘growing up and into’ we all need. ❤️
Thank you for this helpful way of voicing that feeling of being damaged in my life.
I watched Adolescent, a powerful 4-part documentary movie on TV last night.
It shows just how damaging accusation without care can be. And how it erodes the connections that hold our communities
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk5OxqtpBR4
Love this post a lot Holly, thank you. The work of coalition building while doing the care work and tending for our elder people often for me feels at odds. I breathe and work to bring the tenderness I can offer my mom to my coalition peeps, and I fail often enough at both. Skill up indeed. Will be sharing this post, so much in here resonates for me and I know it will for others. I was once called out on social media by a very well-known writer and woo-howdy, did that shame spiral swirl inside me, such a learning experience. I hope that writer also has learned that shaming others is the exact opposite of creating belonging.
Holly, thank you for sharing your pain, vulnerability and especially your call to all of us to engage and connect with everyone, including those who cause (even unknowlingly) harm to each other. I find great inspiration and hope in your sharing as well as support to attempt to do the same.
I'm adding my voice to the chorus of gratitude for your exquisite essay, Holly. It's doing so much work: identifying the gaps in our collective skill set, naming values that can carry us forward in the Great Dark, and modeling the beneficial impact of practicing vulnerability. I am inspired, not only by your sharing and analysis, but also by how it's called forth so much wisdom and resources from your readers. I offer you a deep bow of gratitude.